Trust
by bamfhowell
Summary: Dan has had a bad past relationship so when he and Phil start dating, he wants to take things slow.


It's been a couple of months now since Dan Howell had started dating his best friend, Phil Lester, and so far… things were going okay. They were happy together. Dan had been so worried that dating Phil would change their friendship but it only made things stronger between them, which was definitely a good thing.

Two months had flown by since they started dating. They had kept their relationship a secret as they were both popular Youtube vloggers with millions of subscribers combined together. They didn't want to be known as that 'gay Youtube couple' so they agreed that hiding would be for the best. They wanted people to focus on their videos, not their relationship. Dan was also afraid of negativity in his life, which was another big reason why they wanted to keep their relationship a secret. Dan didn't handle negativity very well.

Although Dan and Phil had been dating each other for quite a while; they didn't really do couple stuff such as kissing or hugging. Sure, Dan held Phil's hand every once in a while and he loved to cuddle with Phil but that was about it. Dan never talked about taking things further, even though Phil had tried to ask about it times before.

But now, Phil had been dying just to be able to kiss Dan so he wanted to take things further in their relationship.

"Hey," Phil greeted as he walked into the lounge of his and Dan's apartment on a Friday evening.

Dan had been sitting on the couch all day, browsing the internet for hours.

Dan looked up and smiled up at his boyfriend. "Hello there,"

Phil plopped down on the couch next to him. "Watcha doin'?" He asked.

Dan looked over at Phil and chuckled. "Just browsing through the internet, like I always do," he told him.

"Oh," Phil mumbled. He bit his lip nervously as he watched for a few seconds as Dan scroll through tumblr. "Hey, um, Dan?" He finally asked, breaking the silence between them.

"Yeah?" Dan asked as he looked over at Phil. "What's up?"

Phil stared at Dan for a few seconds, not saying anything, before he finally leaned forward and pressed his lips against Dan's, for the first time in two months since they started dating each other.

Dan gasped. "Phil!" He yelled, quickly pushing him away. He stared at him with wide eyes. "Why the fuck are you doing?" He took deep breaths as he stared at him, shocked and confused.

"I-I just…" Phil began to say. "I'm sorry, okay? It's just… we've been dating for two months and you've never let me kiss you before. The only thing we ever do is hold hands or cuddle on the couch every once in a while,"

"Isn't that enough?" Dan asked as his eyes began to water up.

"No, Dan, please don't cry. I'm really sorry! Honestly. It's just… don't you trust me?" Phil asked calmly.

"Of course I trust you, Phil," Dan whispered. He took another deep breath, "it's just… I've been in a relationship before and I was hurt by someone. It was a few years ago. I know I'm 22 years old and that I should get over it by now but I'm just afraid of getting hurt again," he told Phil.

"I'm sorry that someone hurt you before, you didn't deserve that," Phil said.

Dan shrugged his shoulders. "It was my fault for trusting him," he mumbled.

"But Dan, you should know that… I'm not that guy that hurt you. You know that I care about you and would do anything for you. I think I've done a good job at showing that to you within' the four years that we've known each other," Phil said. He let out a small sigh and shook his head, "but I understand if you're not ready. I really don't want to pressure you into doing something that you're not ready to do,"

"Shut up, Phil," Dan whispered before he wrapped his arms around Phil's neck and kissed him passionately.

Phil smiled and immediately kissed Dan back. He wrapped his arms around Dan and pulled him closer.

They kissed for a few more seconds before Dan finally pulled away from the kiss.

"Was the wait worth it?" Dan asked, not taking his eyes away from Phil.

"Oh, the wait was definitely worth it," Phil said, smiling at Dan.

"Good," Dan whispered. He reached over and kissed Phil again and then he sighed. "I guess you're right. I mean, I shouldn't be afraid of everybody just because one person hurt me. You're totally not the same guy. I feel so bad for making you wait for so long just to kiss me," he groaned.

"No, don't apologize, Dan. It's understandable that you were afraid. A lot of people are just like you," Phil said.

"I guess that makes me feel better but still!" Dan whined, throwing his arms up in the air.

"Hey, I don't mind taking things slow. I'll do anything to keep you happy, you know that," Phil whispered.

"Thank you Phil, it really does mean a lot to me," Dan whispered back, smiling. He sighed and shook his head, "but there is no in hell way that I'm waiting two months to kiss you again," he quickly added.

Phil laughed at him and nodded in agreement. "That's absolutely perfectly fine with me," he said. He wrapped his arms around Dan again and pulled him closer to him for a cuddle.

Dan immediately turned and rested his head on Phil's chest. He looked up at Phil and smiled, "I love you," he whispered, blushing a little bit when Phil looked down at him.

"Are you blushing?" Phil asked, smirking as he stared at Dan.

"No!" Dan quickly yelled, covering his cheeks.

Phil laughed. "I think you are!" He exclaimed. He grabbed one of Dan's hands and kissed him again.

Dan couldn't help but giggle. "I could definitely get used to this," he said.


End file.
